Here is some background information before I decide to completely spill my guts.

- I am a 21 year old guy studying Sociology & Religion at Georgia State University.

- My ambitions are to plant & pastor a church while being an award-winning Fantasy-Fiction Novelist.

- About a month ago, God pretty much wrecked my life (in a good way).

- In less than 2 weeks, I will be launching a house-church, Transformation C.

Granted, a lot of that stuff is uber-basic, it will mean tons as this post progresses. About a month ago I had a series of 3 conversations back-to-back. Each built off of the one before, starting at my local Starbucks, then in my Religion & Literature class, & back at Starbucks.

It all started during a conversation with my good friend & brother Travis Crafter about simple life matters. Weeks earlier, I'd experienced a major slump in my faith. Because social injustices hold a place in my heart, it is often difficult to see God's hand in them. Nonetheless, I was able to conquer those feelings & continue in my pursuit of faith. We then moved to the subject of community, being a leader, feeling as though you are involuntarily being hurled into a course of action, etc. That conversation ended only to be continued in class. As we began our discussion of 'A Lesson Before Dying', I kid you not, EVERY subject matter we discussed was addressed. My mind was running laps by this point, so what better than more caffeinated inspiration to top it off? Back to Starbucks.

That's when it happened. During that conversation, it was almost as if a burning bush had perched itself on our table to speak....'What if you started to build the church?'....I reiterated, "Travis, what would you think if I started the church?"

He paused.

Then spoke.

"People have been ready to follow, they're just waiting on you."

God used that experience to wreck me.

------>FastForward----->

We are a week and a half away from our official launch. Within the month, we have been able to recruit a worship leader, an administrative assistant, Life-Coach, supporters, & more. Just yesterday, God answered a major prayer of ours, giving us the means to purchase furniture for the room that we will be using to host service. Its going to happen....but....as a church planter, I am experiencing a place of lonliness that is unlike any other.

Since things have taken off, there has been more criticism than ever. There has been less support than ever. And in a quiet mind, that can be dangerous. Granted, yes, we should find our support in Jesus & all that fluffy Christian jargon, the reality is that even as a pastor, you will probably experience this same lonliness. You want to know that people support the vision. You want to be comforted by those who love you.

What I find as strange is that in writing Deleminus, I seemed to rally more geniune support than in attempting to launch Transformation C. From church leadership to close friends, it has been noticably quiet & at times, I've almost come to doubt that God wants me to do this.

On top of this, it has required a ton of work that I was not expecting. Up until yesterday, I thought that I wasn't going to be able to purchase furnishings for the room. God had his way of providing & now its possible. I had been spending a majority of my earnings & time working on 'church stuff' to prepare for launch.

Yesterday, something hit me. In John 10:27, Jesus says that His sheep know His voice. If we are called to reflect Jesus, would it not be the case that the people that we are called to shepherd would know our voices as well?